Written by Rukiya Hussan
Pain propels you away from mediocrity. It expels your comfort zone and prepares you for greater things – My father
Learning to embrace loss is a hard lesson to gain.You deserve more than the things you cling to and the mediocrities you fight to preserve. At a certain point in life, we have to start accepting things for what they simply cannot be. At a certain point, we need to let go of the things that no longer belong to us. An obsession with ideals rather than realities facilitates a sense of blinding comfort and dependency on elusive hopes, they teach us to cling. Attachments become to us what blankets are to infants – fabricated security.
Attachments are always the things and habits we can’t seem to defend but always get defensive over. These are always the people we tirelessly refuse to criticize, yet go through lengths to protect from criticism. Our minds have a way of over protecting things that pose the most harm because the pain of living with something is always seemingly greater than the pain of living without it.
We cling to things that endorse our failures, things that don’t question or challenge us. We cling to people that mask our guilt, the people that rationalize our mistakes. Attachments epitomize a reliance of short-term fixes over long-term solutions. We narrow in on things that refute our accountability towards our realities and ourselves. We become victims of our own mistakes and refuse to claim responsibility in our disappointments.
Yet, what you ignore does harm you, ignorance is the farthest thing from bliss – it’s a short cut to arrogance. You have to constantly remind yourself of your truths. When we ignore our realities we neglect opportunities that give way to growth. We ignore new perspectives. We start holding things and people to Unachievable standard and give them the responsibility to fill our voids. We give them the responsibility to maintain our happiness. We start using people and things as escapes, ways to run away from the things we fear. Reclaim that power. Reclaim yourself. Delusion is the worst form of self-sustenance. Things are what they are, not what we need them to be. People are who they are, not who we desire them to be. We must never demand what we cannot offer and the things we ask for should always reflect our efforts. If you are going to Claim space in someone’s heart, it must be through love, not dependency.
Above all, you must understand that the anti thesis to growth, Is excessive comfort. The mind fears what it is not exposed to. Clinging come from an irrational fear of losing things that belong to you. In reality, the things you deserve will always belong to you. The people who love you will always fight for you -don’t question their allegiance. You are a collection of experiences and a product of your histories. Your past is what makes you who you are today. The things you’ve lost have led you to the things you now cherish. With growth comes the understanding that we cannot hold on to pieces of things or people in an attempt to gain peace. We must understand that sometimes the things we aim are not possibilities, they are lessons; do’s and don’ts…Lessons that prepare us for better things. Sometimes the things we aim for are just detours that fine-tune us for the destination.